God, I love this video...
And this one too, of course. I need to be that poutine for Halloween.
Not to mention that sometimes I wish that I were as cool as Gabbo (please let that be a Simpsons reference) from Omnikrom.
For my own curiosity's sake, really:
Most listened to tracks by week, 2008
12/31 - 1/6 - Profit Money & D-Why, "Country Roads Remix"
1/7 - 1/13 - Alizée, "Moi... Lolita"
1/14 - 1/20 - Pulp, "Like a Friend"
1/21 - 1/27 - Serge Gainsbourg, "69 Année Érotique"
1/28 - 2/3 - Serge Gainsbourg, "69 Année Érotique"/The Knife, "We Share Our Mothers' Health"/Roxy Music, "Virginia Plain"
2/4 - 2/10 - Girls Aloud, "Call the Shots"/楊千嬅, <<陌路>>
2/11 - 2/17 - Modern Lovers, "Modern World"/Modern Lovers, "Someone I Care About"/Ariane Moffatt, "Petit Animal"
2/18 - 2/24 - Jeanette, "Porque Te Vas"
2/25 - 3/2 - Ariane Moffatt, "Petit Animal"
3/3 - 3/9 - Lio, "Le Banana Split"
3/10 - 3/16 - Koxie, "Garçon"
3/17 - 3/23 - Duffy, "Mercy"
3/24 - 3/30 - 楊千嬅, <<化>>
3/31 - 4/6 - 官恩娜, <<地平線>>
4/7 - 4/13 - Najoua Belyzel, "Gabriel"
4/14 - 4/20 - Najoua Belyzel, "Gabriel"
4/21 - 4/27 - Najoua Belyzel, "Gabriel"
4/28 - 5/4: Crystal Castles, "Magic Spells"/Crystal Castles, "Alice Practice"/Crystal Castles vs. Health, "Crimewave"/Kate Nash, "Pumpkin Soup"
5/5 - 5/11: Najoua Belyzel, "Gabriel"
5/12 - 5/18: Omnikrom, "Danse la poutine (avec TTC)"
5/19 - 5/25: Omnikrom, "Danse la poutine (avec TTC)"/Omnikrom, "Été Hit"
5/26 - 6/1: Jacques Dutronc, "J'aime les filles"
6/2 - 6/8: Omnikrom, "Été Hit"
6/9 - 6/15: Kinderkoor Prettig Weekend, "Hup Holland Hup"
6/16 - 6/22: Omnikrom, "Danse le poutine (avec TTC)/Omnikrom, "Été Hit"/King Geedorah, "Fazers"
6/23 - 6/29: Ariane Moffatt, "Réverbère"/Ariane Moffatt, "En l'air (intermède)"
6/30 - 7/6:
Most listened to artists by week, 2008
12/31 - 1/6: The Knife
1/7 - 1/13: Galaxie 500
1/14 - 1/20: XTC
1/21 - 1/27: The Knife
1/28 - 2/3: The Knife
2/4 - 2/10: Mirah
2/11 - 2/17: The Knife
2/18 - 2/24: Quasi
2/25 - 3/2: Manic Street Preachers
3/3 - 3/9: Girls Aloud
3/10 - 3/16: El Perro del Mar
3/17 - 3/23: Girls Aloud
3/24 - 3/30: 楊千嬅
3/31 - 4/6: 楊千嬅
4/7 - 4/13: Cansei de ser Sexy
4/14 - 4/20: Camille
4/21 - 4/27: Manic Street Preachers
4/28 - 5/4: Yo La Tengo
5/5 - 5/11: 周杰倫
5/12 - 5/18: Omnikrom
5/19 - 5/25: Omnikrom
5/26 - 6/1: Wire
6/2 - 6/8: Ariane Moffatt
6/9 - 6/15: The Knife
6/16 - 6/22: The Knife
6/23 - 6/29: Ariane Moffatt
From these lists we can tell that I am still obsessed with The Knife (who have a chance of becoming one of my three most listened to artists over the past two years), love a ton of shit that is not in English and prefer that my pop songs are sung by females.
I'm pretty sure that the song that'll top my charts this week is Duffy's Mercy. It's not even that great but God, I can't resist its charm.
Don't bother saying you're sorry
Why don't you come in?
Smoke all my cigarettes again...
Every time I get no further
How long has it been?
Come on in now
Wipe your feet on my dreams
You take up my time
Like some cheap magazine
When I could've been learning something
Oh well, you know what I mean
I've done this before and I will do it again
Come on and kill me, baby, while you smile like a friend
And I'll come running... just to do it again
You are the last drink I never should've drunk
You are the body hidden in the trunk
You are the habit I can't seem to kick
You are my secrets on the front page every week
You are the car I never should've bought
You are the train I never should've caught
You are the cut that makes me hide my face
You are the party that makes me feel my age
You're like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid
Like a plane I've been told I never should board
Like a film that's so bad but I've got to stay till the end
Let me tell you now it's lucky for you that we're friends...
Today is eighteen years since 6/4 (Tiananmen Square protests of 1989) and I think the saddest thing is that, yes, while the PRC government and the People's Liberation Army acted in a completed horrifiying and cowardly manner, I am not so confident that other governments around the world would not act in a similar manner if faced with a similar situation.
The smartest thing the PRC did was doing nothing when the handover of Hong Kong was completed. There was initial talk and fear of mass arrests of individuals, of PLA troops on every corner. If only something had happened once again, perhaps we would be free now instead of fighting for some diluted form of universal suffrage and democracy.
This is life before everything changes in a couple of days.
Lying down with my head at the foot of the bed and staring at the three holes punctured into the ceiling, back when I had lanterns and not a bedside table lamp. I lie there with my hands behind my head and my elbows pointing off in two separate directions while music that could unfortunately be described as "loungy" by some plays in the background. It's there, but it's not dominating the room. I don't feel the need to really pay attention, to sing along, not that I could if I was asked to.
This is life spent in silence, except to occasionally talk to myself and non-ironically refer to myself as "dude". Life spent in silence, in diametrical opposition to the life spent talking (in my head and to others) that will take place this week, that has always taken place because I am paid to talk, to communicate, to placate, to put a nice spin on things when they go bad, to prod, to nudge, to motivate without hurting feelings or being discouraging. I've gotten good at talking, but bad at saying anything. I talked to Emily's sister's boyfriend the other night and thought to myself that I sounded too much like I do at work, too "on" and not really myself, like when I'm talking to people who are in social classes that I can never imagine being part of. I sat and paired an award winning novel from the turn of the century with bastardised immigrant food while listening to the non-stop conversation from the couple next to me and wondered if I can manage to say anything, to hold a true conversation anymore.
My day off, my only truly guaranteed day off until God knows when and I spent it making something I saw on a television show hosted by a much maligned celebrity chef. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Has life been reduced to marinating chicken drumettes with teriyaki sauce and crushed pineapples? Until today, I had no idea that pineapples came in so many packaging options, all guaranteed to be one hundred percent Hawaiian as if my purchase of pineapples would be guided by patriotic principle.
My fingernails smell like fake flowery fabric softener and the bath tub smells like plastic. The light that the aforementioned bedside lamp gives off is too bright for my tastes, too bright for someone of my disposition.
This will be life after everything changes in a couple of days, too.
This is a low, but it won't hurt you
When you're alone it will be there with you
Finding ways to stay so low...
The weekend before she came down to see us and honestly, really to see me, I was nervous about the gesture of giving her a mix tape I had made. I figured that maybe there wouldn't be so much pressure because mix tapes seem to run in indie circles, whereas she was really the antithesis of indie. However, I knew that that was just a lie to try to make myself feel better, to take any nervousness out of the situation. I can't quite remember how long I spent on the tape, except that there was a night or two that I became really frustrated because I couldn't quite get the tape down. I ended up finishing the cover to her tape the day that she was arriving into Portland, cutting out a picture of a daredevil BMX rider leaping over the Great Wall of China from some year in review magazine that came with a South China Morning Post. She seemed like she enjoyed the gift and more importantly, she understood what the tape meant and all that it carried with it. I sometimes wonder where the tape is, whether she's binned it or if it's just in some anonymous box in the basement of her abode.
There are two reasons why I mention this tonight. First off, This is a Low is pretty much my favourite Blur song (that or Young and Lovely) and it ended up as the last song of the tape. This is a Low has never meant anything to me in terms of lyrics. After all, legend says that it was written while Damon Albarn was listening to weather forecasts for shipping lanes on the radio. However, the atmosphere that that song generates has resonated with me since I became a bit older and loved Blur for more of their challenging work as opposed to pop song after pop song. I love it's quick geographical tour of the British Isles, I love the guitar and I love the fact that it (almost) ends Parklife.
I also bring all of this up because I had a wonderful evening with Shasta on Friday night. We met after I got off work and headed down to a trendy Japanese restaurant downtown. With it being Friday night, it was quite packed, which led to our food taking a ridiculous amount of time to get to us. It didn't really matter, as the time just flew by with both of us just talking and talking, seemingly with no natural lulls in the conversation. Since we're also co-workers, we talked a bit about work, mainly our new co-worker, but mainly we talked about our own romantic situations and the headaches involved.
The past month has been spent in anger, or at least my feelings towards her have been very angry. I have made a vow that I am not getting in touch with her whatsoever. If she were to get in touch with me, I would respond, but I am no longer making that effort. I have been angry at the way things fell apart and the manner in which they were handled. During our two hour stay at the Japanese restaurant, Shasta brought up a situation in which there were uncanny parallels to my situation and it opened my eyes a bit to the way that she may have been thinking. How things went from unchecked excitement in regards to my upcoming visit to all of a sudden freaking out and not being able to see me at all. How she had the audacity to say to me that she didn't want to lead me on because she knew that I was a person with very strong feelings, yet with that knowledge, still flippantly ran her mouth about various things that she knew I would take seriously.
I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I don't know if I miss her or not, I really don't. I find myself really, really isolating myself from everybody. I've been bad with emails, I've been bad with phone calls. There have been too many nights spent alone, nights in which there is no excuse for not going out and attempting to be social and yet, like tonight, I find myself alone in my room, singing along to whatever songs that the iPod throws up for me.
Once again, the only justification I have for any of this is that this is the way that things have to be, that this is the price I have to pay. My question now is that I have no idea what I'm paying for and how much it's going to cost.
(And at the same time, I really just want to go out and meet girls)